Pix for why good girls stay long on the queue

While on air (on radio) months back, a young lady sent in a text that reads; ‘Does it worth it to be sincere in relationship?’ She however, expantiated further when we had opportunity to speak saying; ‘’I have observed that guys don’t like honest ladies. They seem to like ladies who lie…….’’ And as we discussed, I recalled the comment of a pretty former colleague of mine saying something similar in a different way when she said; “ I am going to be 35 and I am tired of being single. I go to church, I give offering, I don’t fornicate but all my wayward friends who have aborted, who date married men and do all sort of things have married. Many of them married rich men…….’’

Hey, do you fall into the category of ladies like the two above? Are you a good girl just tired of people taking advantage of your innocence and niceness? Some of you are virgins who have kept your purity so carefully but unfortunately, you have never been happy in your past or present relationship. My dear, I can feel you. I know how you feel. See the reasons below why some good girls stay long on the queue waiting to get hooked someday.


  1. Over selection of guys that are coming your way
  2. Unrealistic expectations and desires from guys coming your way
  3. When you don’t want to cross the ocean- You live with your parents (or on your own) on the Island but you don’t want to consider any guy on the mainland no matter his qualities
  4. Insisting on marrying someone from a specific tribe or nationality
  5. Insisting on marrying someone from your church denomination even when Christians from other folds come
  6. Insisting on marrying someone in your profession
  7. Poor, shabby and indecent dressing and dress sense
  8. Dwelling in your shell- As a result of past hurtful experience you have decided to stay inside your shell like a snail. Ofcourse, your relationship will take on a snail speed when you embrace ‘snail-like lifestyle’!
  9. Absence of divine favour as a result of your character and general lifestyle!
  10. May be you are paying for your past deeds, especially when you have refused to repent, forsake your sinful ways or forgive those who hurt you.
  11. Satanic mark on you
  12. Pride and arrogance
  13. Rude and uncouth in speaking and behaviour in general- Lack of manners!
  14. Not yet your divine time to marry

For quite a number of single ladies out there, it may be a combination of these factors that is responsible for your being single whilst you ought to be married. And it could be because it is just not yet time as highlighted in point 14 above. So, how do I know my case is a case of it is not yet my divine time? Check all the points above and see from 1-13 if any of those listed are in your bag. Ask those around you, especially those who know you well, who can tell you the truth. If none of item 1-13 are in you, then I say to you HAPPY WAITING! Why? The Scripture says;

But those who wait on the Lord

 shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like the eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They walk and not faint’

Isaiah 40 Vs 31

However, if you are reached the point where you have become weary spiritually (no longer interested in praying or involved in any spiritual exercise, emotionally (no longer interested in relationship and outrightly tired or afraid of going into relationship or even marriage) and physically (by just staying in your shell), it simply means you are not waiting upon the Lord! You are waiting upon men to give you what ONLY God can give. You forget that no man can give you anything except it is given to you from above! No wonder Isaiah the Prophet wrote saying;

‘He gives power to the weak,

and to those who have no might He increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary,

and the young men shall utterly fall’

Isaiah 40 Vs 29-30

The next verse to above Scripture is where the life game changer is. It is where the difference making counsel is;

‘But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength……….’

Why? Because God will supply grace that will carry you through this challenging phase of your life.

All you got to do is to exchange your weakness for His Strength and watch as He carries you through till you get to destination.

Ideally, a good girl should not stay so long waiting to get hooked but for some of the reasons stated above, a good girl can stay stale on the queue!

The question is, are you a good girl that is waiting on God or waiting (or trusting) on your beauty; your fine legs and fine face? Or your strength is actually your academic qualification? Haven’t you seen that even those who are not as educated as you are getting married? Are you just in church or church is truly in you? Do you have a relationship with God through His Son Jesus? Consider a working relationship with your Maker through Jesus and you see that no one who waits on God goes empty handed.

And if you already have a relationship with Jesus, consider the Word of God;

‘Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus’        Philippians 4 Vs 6-7 (NKJV)

God is waiting on you to come to Him so that He can take you through the process of preparing you for what He has prepared for you. When you do as advised above, all the good things of life that accompany salvation are yours, including marriage!

‘Gboyega ILORI

Relationship coach and Marriage counsellor

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