black-woman-sad-wifeTrust me, I write from the position of knowledge, insight and experience as a relationship coach and counsellor. I have ruminated over the mistakes married women make especially our 21st century Mrs and I thought it wise to share. Why? So that marriages will be saved from further chaos and disintegration.

Today’s married women face challenges that are either self-imposed or circumstantially imposed. Self-imposed when you are the cause and circumstantially when circumstances beyond your capability or comprehension forces these challenges on you. Believe me, it is an herculean task to be a woman, especially a married woman. Taking care of the home front is a tedious job. Taking care of your husband is real work. Going through the nine months course is a more laborious venture. And that is why I usually doff my cap for married women, especially responsibly married women! Ouch! Did I touch on something there? Yeap, I know I did. There are married women who are not responsible; not to their husbands, children or even the home front. I salute you if you are one of those who is sacrificing alot for your marriage, family and children. I pray your labour will never ever be in vain. Amen!

There are at least 16 common mistakes married women make, some of which are;

  1. Comparing your husband to your father
  2. Comparing your husband to your ex, especially your ex that you never wanted to part ways with
  3. A Believe that you married only your husband and not his family.
  4. Explained or unexplained dislike or outright hatred for your mother in-law, siblings-inlaw etc
  5. Focusing on the children at the expense of your husband
  6. Prioritizing your job or business above your marriage and family is a costly blunder. When your job or business ends, will you still have a marriage and family to be proud of?
  7. Telling negative tales about your husband to your family, friends and colleagues will ultimately affect you too.
  8. Deliberate refusal to grant your husband his due respect and regard even if he is erring!
  9. Deliberate refusal to grant your husband conjugal sexual right or access even when you can.
  10. Being dirty and unkempt. Every part of a wife ought to be sparkle clean. You can lure your husband into hot romantic blues by your neatness. So its important you keep your body clean 24/7 no matter how busy or tired you may be. A dirty wife is a serious put off!
  11. Engaging in illicit affairs even if your husband or circumstances forced you into it by his wrongful conduct.
  12. Moving out of your matrimonial home under any guise other than proven continuous case of domestic violence or emotional abuse is recipe for marital disaster. That is the agenda of Satan and you fall for it when you do so.
  13. Nagging and nagging consistently like you are competing to win ‘’world prize for nagging wives’’ award. Men abhors women who nag.
  14. Absentee married women who commit their home entirely to nanny, house-helps without adequate supervision take huge risk. Your husband may be at risk, your children and indeed your marriage may be at risk. Absentees don’t know what happens in their absence!
  15. Whatever my husband likes he can do attitude is a terrible attitude. Spiritually and physically both of you ought to be one, so what do you think will happen to the rest of the body when any part of the body is aching or severed from the other? That is what you do to yourself by your ‘’I DON’T CARE ATTITUDE’’!
  16. Misbehaving to your husband because the law of the country where you live favors women will backfire on you. If the law helps you get away with it, nemesis will catch up with you through your children later.

Friends, all marriages go through challenges and issues. The prove of your readiness to stay married is seen in how you tackle the marital issues that confront you. With prayer, patience, perseverance, tolerance, hardwork and wisdom, all marital challenges can be surmounted. Any beautiful garden that you see is being watered and tended by someone!

The Bible tells us that;

“Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands’’ Proverbs 14 Vs 1

Ladies, if you do any of the above listed 16 things, you will simply be pulling down your house with your hands. And as the Bible says it, you are being foolish when you do.

Often Christians talk of the Proverbs 31 woman but how many has observed that the Proverbs 31 woman is a hardworking woman? The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of grace; industry, resilience and service!

If any marriage is not working, when you check its likely one of the 16 things listed above that is the cause!

Trust me, I will do the reverse on this subject on men in a short while. Keep reading this blog for more.

Still Yours on this Platform


Adegboyega ILORI

You can follow Adegboyega on twitter @gboyegailori, on facebook @ Adegboyega A Ilori or do him a mail at adegboyega.ilori@gmail.com