image for virginA  young university undergraduate many years back once told me how she was rebuked sharply by her then roommate when she said she was a virgin at 24. I understand same fear and shame still permeate the heart of many to disclose their virginity, especially to their wayward peers.

Friends, don’t be ashamed or afraid to say you are a virgin. Many of those who rebuke you or make jest of you are doing so out of envy and jealousy. They wished they had kept their virginity but want to discourage and disparage those who chose to keep theirs. To be a virgin in this age and time when sex and sexuality is cheaper than water is a thing of pride! When I meet young and Older single ladies that have kept their virginity I encourage them for keeping their head when others have lost theirs.

But we need to understand who is a virgin. A virgin is anyboby that is yet to have sex. He or she is anybody that is still even as was made by God. Manufacturers of products often put the product in a seal or put a seal around the product to protect its genuineness and validity. So, imagine you just bought a bottled water or drink. Would you like to take the water or drink whose seal has been broken? That is how powerful the virginity of a lady is. When the seal has been broken, it is no longer in the same state as made by the manufacturer. That is why most manufacturers would put a notice on their product; DO NOT ACCEPT IF SEAL IS BROKEN.

Your virginity is a symbol of purity and chastity. It is costly to be everybody’s darling and you open your tigh or your zip to every man or lady that comes your way. You can’t give sex as a prove of love because the Bible did not say Love your neighbour (friend) more than your self. What the scripture says is LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF!


No, virginty is not just about girls and ladies. It is a common mistake people (nay parents) make when they focus only on the girl-child. Virginity is a standard required for both girls and guys who are yet to marry. Virginity can be proven in your heart if you have a living conscience and it can be proven physically. Although it cannot be proven physically in the case of guys but it can be proven conscience wise. Can your answer be ‘’Yes’’ if someone ask if you have ever had sex? If you answer yes when you ought to say no, you know you are a liar. Isn’t it ridiculous that many of you guys who have lost your virginity are in search of a virgin for a wife. Who will marry those you disvirgined?

The outstanding youths in the Bible whose exploits are still been celebrated today were virgins. Joseph, Esther, Daniel and the 3 Hebrew Boys (I believe), Phillip’s 4 virgin daughters and Mary the mother of Jesus are just but a few to mention. God does rare, earth breaking, ground breaking things with virgins. It is too costly to loose the laurels that God has for you on the basis of lust mistaken for love!


It is not a loss to ‘’loose’’ a ‘’friend’’ or ‘’fiance’’ (or fiancee) that is hell bent on making love to you. It simply means he or she does not deserve you. A public convenience cannot confer the same dignity and respect as a private one! He or she is only in the relationship for what he or she can get. And there is no way you can satisfy that kind of person in all ways. If he or she is not willing to wait until your wedding night, then he or she does not deserve you. You become emotionally entangled to someone that you have sexual intercourse with. That is why it is difficult to let go of the person in the event of breakup of the relationship.

Your Godly values are your intangible assets which are greater than your tangible assets. When tangible assets are lost, the intangible assets you have can restore what you have lost. Your values will ultimately stand you out of the crowd like Joseph, Esther, Daniel and his 3 friends, Mary etc were outstanding. If he or she quits the relationship as a result of your no sex stand, a greater person is on the way!

Virginity is generally of two classes; there is primary virginity and there is secondary virginity. Primary virginity is the state where you have NEVER had sex in your life. Secondary virginity is the state where you have had sex before but for religious or personal reasons you have stopped engaging in the act. To some people these classification does not hold water. You are either a virgin or you are not. Saying you are a secondary virgin is the same as saying you are not!

However, in truth it is easier to prove virginity in both primary and secondary virginity. The difference is that in the case of primary virginity, it is most likely that you will experience pain and slight bleeding when engaging in sex. And you also need to know that absence of blood does not necessarily mean you are NOT a primary virgin. Research has proven it that some girls (or ladies) loose their hymen (the covering on the vagina) not necessarily due to sexual intercourse. If you are a very active sport person you can loose your hymen in the process of physical exercise. Also, if you are in the habit of masturbating, you can can break it knowingly or unknowingly. It is generally advisable that you guard yourself and not allow any rough play around your genitals!

You make God proud when you keep your virginity. You make yourself proud by keeping it. You make your parents proud when you keep it and finally you make your spouse very proud of you. He or she can trust you afterwards in marriage because you kept what you could have lost perhaps before your paths crossed.

You can keep your sanity in an insane environment by taking a great stand by staying on the side of God. You can’t stand on the side of God and loose!

Still Yours in His Kingdom


Adegboyega ILORI