wedding1In my previous write-up, I did promise to answer the question of my 29 years old (going 30)  female virgin friend who is getting married in a few days time. I am sure her expectation of this writeup , like many other of my friends on this forum is high, trust me, I shall not disappoint.

Ask many married women and men today the question; when was your happiest day? 98 percent of women will tell you it was their wedding day. Certainly, it is the happiest for many men also. Wedding day is a day of joy, a day of signing the dotted lines, it is the day you sign up ‘’for better, for worse’’ with the ONE partner you have chosen out of many options! Not minding what lies ahead in the new journey you just embarked upon. For some the journey could end within six months, one year and for many TILL DEATH do them apart. What will determine how long your marriage will stand is a function of how patient, how forgiving and how much you can persevere.

You can consummate marriage either by going to the registry, having traditional engagement or church wedding or Nikkai (Islamic wedding for Muslims) or a combination of all of the above events. Family, friends and loved ones come to celebrate love with the couple. After much eating and drinking, dancing, photography, plenty of funfair and excitement, all invited guests, family and friends will disperse, living only the newly wed to themselves. This is where MARRIAGE BEGINS. Wedding is an event, Marriage is for a life time. Sadly, many people only prepare and look forward to wedding and not to marriage!

wedding2Usually, newly wed couples look forward to their wedding night with much expectation and excitement especially if the two of them have never had sex before. It can be electrifying if either of them or both are virgins. This is very normal. You have just been given the RIGHT and the unrestricted ‘’licence’’ to sex and the entire body of your spouse. All that you have been longing for is now right before you. The adrenalin running in your system before now can now have an expression!


  1. Agreed that honeymoon begins from your wedding night, be sensitive to the physical capabilities of your spouse. Guys especially should not over exact strenght. Your wedding night is just the beginning of many nights together for the two of you, don’t kill the excitement of your  wife. The satisfaction or aparthy to sex of a woman begins from your first time together. You either live a pleasant memory or a dreadful and hurtful experience which may last a life time.
  2. If your wife is a virgin, please do not hurt her in sex. You must be as tender and gentlemanly as much as possible. If your husband is a virgin, educate him on the needful. Do not be ashamed- Remember  that Adam and Eve were naked and they were not ashamed.
  3. I know that many church marriage counselling sections are usually with much words in the cheek. Most of the time, church counsellors do not break it down to the nitty gritty. I wonder how they expect you to know the details of what transpired between a man and a woman behind closed doors if they don’t tell you. This is why some christian marriages have sex challenges! Therefore, I will suggest you read romance novels, watch romance movies especially American romance films and read more on sex and sexualities. I will not advise you to watch blue films as some medical doctors usually advise. It is ungodly to watch porn films, besides the fact that it is a make believe and not a realistic film.
  4. There is no any other event on your wedding night other than SEX. Yes the very act of SEX.

There is a difference between sex and lovemaking. I shall give my friend cum wife to be the details    of the difference via inbox because I am mindful of my single friends here. I shall also inbox you other critical details as you transform from a girl to a woman, or as you transform from a virgin to a wife  as per your question above.



wedding3Sincerely, I am very much elated for my friend because I remember the many nights that you often tell me you were lonely and you needed the touch of a man. I recall how tough it was for you resisting the temptation of breaking your virginity at 27 and you kept it till now at 29, how it looked like you were an odd person amongst your peers and friends. I also recall that we asked God in prayers to bring your husband from wherever he is at your birthday last year and before your next birthday this year, God did it. As your Pastor and close confidant, I am very much excited that finally, God has honoured His Word in your life.  Heaven is also rejoicing that you HONOURED God with your body.

Still Yours Truly,

Adegboyega ILORI